


Five Eye

by HOMOGRIMOIRE



Category: Drag-On Dragoon | Drakengard, NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Genre: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, and about five, becuase this is drakengard, but no explicit acts are depicted though, minor 2B 9S and Decadus appearances, pls remember this is rated m
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-11
Updated: 2020-08-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 08:00:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25839997
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HOMOGRIMOIRE/pseuds/HOMOGRIMOIRE
Summary: Five is on a mission for One, and things go well for her. A robot makeover session is a good way to have some fun. However things could be better back home. Four and Dito do not mix well. One is tired.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Five Eye

**Author's Note:**

> I just had the idea of Five and Simone meeting, so here this is. I think they could get along well. I like to write long notes, but I'll save that for the end. Enjoy! I wrote this in a few hours for my own enjoyment, so it's ok if you don't enjoy too.

Honestly, Five didn’t know why she was here. Didn’t One know that she was a busy woman? Yet, Five couldn’t really refuse her big sister, at least not to her face. She had plans to lie around, hunt for some exotic food, fuck, the usual. But instead, she was in a dreary amusement park sensually slaughtering machines. At first, she loved it, at first. They were new opponents, something new to try, even if they were gaudily dressed.. The warm and slippery fluids spewed everywhere as she slammed her lance into the last one, a large and rabbit-like machine. 

“Oh this metal is SO beautiful!” she said as she picked up a piece. It shimmed a unique rose-bronze. “Ohh!!! ” she moaned. “Dito, carry this around for me. I’m gonna use it for some sexy new armor later. I was thinking of trying a thigh cutout design and─ Oh right, you’re not here. Ugh. One is so gonna have a piece of my mind later. Whatever. I’ll come later for you, my gorgeous shiny thing!” She promised as she set the metal down and made her way up the steps.

She didn’t bother with the machines this time, and they went on with their merry way. They were old news now. Though now, Five found herself appreciating the fireworks. She liked the explosion color, especially the white ones. 

“Mmm I JUST love those! I should visit four and see if she could make some for me. They would be  _ great  _ for starting an event with a bang, a hot and explosive bang〜”

Soon she happened upon a new enemy. This one interested her, with all its balloons and artillery. It gave her an idea.

“When I get back home, I really have to spruce up my soldiers. I mean, how can they be out there killing and protecting me if they aren’t doing it while being sexy?” She made a good point. Why should they hide their delectable bodies so much just because they were fighting? And if she did it all the time, why couldn’t they?

This enemy proved to be more engaging, but no match for Five, her unparalleled stamina, her strength, and her breasts. Though, she was a bit hurt that the machines weren’t staring at them so much. 

“Hmph. What kind of stupid do you have to be to not make them capable of admiring breasts such as mine?” she berated. Whoever made those machines was stupid indeed.

“Oh, what’s this?” she wondered as she picked up a semi-sphere shaped object. It was light, and organically shaped and colored. It was a deep black with hard edges, and a lustrous gold in the center. “Mmm, pretty. I could probably have this melted down into something gorgeous!” She stuffed it in a pouch One sent with the letter. The pouch had matched her outfit, so Five decided to keep it. Thankfully, it proved useful, especially with no Dito around to carry things.

She sexily walked up a pair of stairs, swaying her hips and making her breast bounce with each step just in case some cutie saw her. Unfortunately, no cutie saw her. At the top of the steps, she saw a cart waiting on a track. 

“Oh yes! A place where I can finally relax. Its hard being the sexiest around.” Five sighed. None of her sisters could ever understand the hardships that came with being the hottest sister. They’d never understand just how much the attention meant to her. Especially since she was the youngest. Just then, as she was laying down, she felt a jolt.

“Ooo, does this thing come with a massage? I hope it hits all the right spots like that one I went to a week ago. Mmmh that guy had hands that worked wonders, and a dick that worked even more〜 Ughh, and his pecs!” she moaned. She began to lower her panties, but stopped when she saw the world flip.

“What?” She got up and looked around her, her hair flying in the wind. “Ohh, this is a riiide.” she realized. She strapped herself in and enjoyed the sights and sounds. She was screaming in ecstasy the whole time, and wasn’t even bothered by the machines shooting their loads at her. If anything, it added to the experience. But sooner than she wanted, the ride came to an abrupt stop and she was thrown off the ride. She landed onto an area below.

“Ooo, a stage! I hope they have a  _ titular  _ show ready for me.” She said as she fixed her breasts. She had hoped they would need a volunteer for the exhilarating activity that was to come.

The red curtains slid away to reveal a machine, one more unique than the previous. This large machine wore a red scrap of fabric as a dilapidated dress, and had a dull metal body hanging from it. It began with a song. It reminded Five of her and her sisters, though it lacked that final thrust that made it a Song.

“BEAUTIFUL! BEAUTIFUL! I MUST BE BEAUTIFUL!!!!!” She screamed.

“Come now, no need to yell. I know a cry for help when I see one, and  _ you  _ need some major help in the beauty department, dear.”

“WHAT DO YOU KNOW OF BEAUTY!?!” She demanded, ready to begin an attack, but holding off just in case the woman before her proved useful. She wasn’t an android. She would be able to sense an android.

“Umm, you’re looking at the definition of beauty. I mean, look at me! Luscious, long hair, sexy face, the most boobalicious tits around, the cutest tummy, a juicy pussy, fat ass, and thick thighs. Who wouldn’t want me?” The machine studied her intently, mesmerized by every curve, and Five ate up that attention. It was only right after all.

“And no offence, but you’re not going to catch anyone’s attention like that. I like the red theme you have going on, but there’s nothing sexy about it. You have to tease your audience with what you have.” she explained. “Show a lot, but cover just enough to keep them thinking about you all day.”

“But, how? I─” The soon to be glamorous machine was interrupted by another crash through the ceiling. 

Two real androids burst through, shocked at what they saw: a previously unknown machine decorated with corpses of their fallen comrades, and a woman who violated even YoRHa’S relaxed dress code.

“HER! GIVE ME HER BODY!” Demanded the machine. Five happily obliged. The pretty woman was only held back by her dull clothing, Five thought as she ogled at her. And the other one was a cutie that reminded her of Dito, also in rather dull clothing.

“You know, you both would look much better with some nicer clothing.” she advised as she attached the female android.

“I’ve got you 2B!” shouted the male android as he began the hack.

“Ooohm〜” she mewled. “Naughty naughty. That tickles.” she rushed over to the small, male android and jabbed with her spear, skewering him through his stomach area. “It’s rude to tease a lady like that and not go all the way through with it〜” Five advised with a wink. She heard a gasp behind her.

“9S!” 2B shouted, and screamed as she flew to Five. Five kicked him off her spear and blocked the attack.

“Mmm, you like it rough, hmm?” Five asked as she batted her eyelashes. The android was stronger than expected, but nothing she couldn;t handle. Then, she heard something, the beginning of a Song. It was weak, very weak, but a Song all the same. It was the machine in red. To her Song, 2B crumpled to the ground, writhing in pain, trying to resist the song. Five decided to add a little bit of her song to the mix, which sent the surviving android screaming in pain, all before finally saying her final word.

“9... S.....”

“And THAT, is a song. You should work on that, but first, let’s get you dolled up!” she exclaimed as she held up the female android.

-

“Alright Simone! Let me show you just how beautiful you are!” Five happily shouted as she uncovered the mirror. Simone stared at herself in awe. 

Her hair was now long, wavy, and a deep black. She now wore a red dress. The dress pushed up her breast to make them look bigger, and just barely covered the nipples. A ripple of red trained the back, leaving the front open. The red extended enough to cover her crotch. Black fabric was under the dress, extending all the way down to her ankles, where she wore black high heels. However, some of the black fabric was cut out, revealing the sides of her thighs and the sides of her stomach. Black gloves went all the way up to her forearms.

“I am… Beautiful.” she quietly awed. She focused on the red lipstick she wore, and laughed. “I’m beautiful! I’m beautiful! He will look my way!” She jumped and danced with joy. Five felt… proud. Not just for herself, but for Simone. She wondered if this was why Two wanted children, before she lost her mind and all that

“Ooo, a special someone? Tell me everything!”

“”His name is Jean-Paul. He lives at the village nearby. I just know he will look my way now! He can’t refuse our love now! Thank you!” She turned in the mirror to admire herself.

“Oh, you’re welcome. Us girls help each other out after all. And from one girl to another, some guys are hard to crack. When that happens, just use some of your Song to influence them. A little bit of Song goes a long way!” Five winked.

-

Four showed up at The Land of Seas they day Five left, at the behest of One. She was curious to see just exactly how it ran with someone like Five at the helm. But not just that, she wanted to be there when Five got back, so she could deliver the information to one. She went past the guards and began to make her way to Five’s office, which would no doubt either be lightly used, or have seen things only five and her innumerable lovers had seen, which was a LOT of people.

On her way there, she saw Dito wandering around in the corner of her eye. That was not good, and she quickly ran towards him and dragged him to her office.

“Ow, ow ow, ow, ow.”

“Dito! What are you doing here?!? You’re supposed to be with Five!!!”

“Hello, nice to see you too.” Dito said as he soothed his arm.

“Why the fuck are you here?!?” she demanded to know.

“I don’t know. Should I NOT be here?”

“No! You should not be here! You should be with Five on the mission One assigned to you two! Didn’t you two read the letter I delivered?!”

“Yeah, about that letter… Got kinda… kinda soiled.” he shrugged.

“SHE FUCKED AND RUINED THE LETTER!?!”

“Goddamn woman, no need to shout. I mean what did you expect? This is Five we’re talking about. The ground you’re standing on is filthier than any whore house you can find. Its absolutely disgusting here!” he said with a devious smile on his face.

-

One did not like to be away from the Cathedral City. But, when she heard that the castle at the Land of Seas was seriously damaged, resulting in 106 dead, she knew it was her duty to show up. When she arrived, she gazed upon the ruin, greeted by a bashful Four, a giddy Dito, and Decadus. He was gazing at men smashing up rocks nearby. If there was something One wanted to know, it was why the disciples could be so fucked up. Cent was alright. Annoying, but alright.

“Thank goodness you're here One. Listen, I can Explain, I–”

“No need.” One interrupted. “It’s my fault for even thinking any of this would even work out.” she sighed. “So, what’s the damage?” she said tiredly.

“Well, we lost some records, and this place is obviously trashed, but aside from that and the loss of human life, nothing!” Dito replied all too happily. “Oh, and we also lost a LOT of sex toys and a lot of Five’s wardrobe. I bet Five is just going to love this!” he rubbed in at Four. “I would not go in there though. The dust is enough to get anyone pregnant. Eww!”

One saw Four gag. She did her best to keep a straight face and not laugh. It was sad, but so so funny.

“Yeah. I can imagine. How is the economy, shipping, trading, and all that?”

“In shambles probably. It’s a miracle this land isn’t in poverty. Shame it probably will be now that it’s center of operations is gone. Five really should have planned ahead.” Four was doing her best to save her ass as much as possible.

“Wrong! Believe it or not, Ol’ blubber bags took care of that a long time ago. She got some books on leading a country and actually read them! I didn’t even know she could read. If you want the specifics on how this place runs so smoothly, you’ll have to ask her yourself, cause I hell don’t know.”

“Oh don’t worry. I will.” Four glared at a smiling Dito. One had a feeling this was going to be a looong weekend.

-

One had never wanted to die more than ever. Four was yelling at Dito, because apparently, Four was actually pure evil, and Decadus was testing out the new torture chamber, which she knew she would hear Four complain about later. 

“Dito! I’m home!” They all heard, to One’s joy, and the other two's dismay. “Oh, I like what you’ve done with the place. It’s SO much nicer than before. We are going to break it in so good tonight! I learned a lot of stuff from that robot orgy!” She rounded a corner to see her dear sisters One and Four.

“Hello Five.” greeted One.

“Hello Five...” greeted Four with pure malice.

“Four! I told you you should smile more. It’ll give you wrinkles if you frown so much. And One, it’s so nice of you to visit. And here I thought I’d have to go to Cathedral City.”

“There is a reason I’m here, and Four would like to explain that, wouldn’t you Four?” said One.

“Sorry about destroying your old castle.” 

“Oh, that’s alright. I was itching for a new look here anyways. Who designed it anyways? I want to thank them personally〜”

“Im not done.” Four replied angrily, and sighed. “And sorry about the death of some of your servants… and destroying your closet, and destroying all your se-” Four choked, and Dito giggled. She glared at him. “Your se- your  _ sex _ toys.” She finished as she held back the need to vomit.

“That… Why?” Five asked as her expression saddened. It made Four feel very guilty. She never thought Five could ever make her feel guilty. Five was so sinful, and she was not. Four just didn’t understand it. She saw that Dito had quietly snuck out at some point.

“I said I’m sorry! What more do you want?”

“Will you be with me for the funeral of everyone and everything?” Five asked on the verge of tears. Four hated having to always be a good person.

“ _ Fine _ .”

“Oh Four, thank you so much! It means the world to me that you’ll be there with me!” Five gleefully said as she drew Four in for a hug. She was not happy to land in Five’s breasts as she jumped up and down with joy. But, One seemed content, so it was good enough for Four.

-

The whole ordeal could have been worse, by Four’s standards. A week of mourning for the old fortress, a week for the clothes, and a week for the  _ sex toys.  _ Four would have killed Five right during that week if One weren’t there. That was probably why she was there in the first place; to make sure Four didn’t kill Five. Four wondered how her big sister could sit through all that with a straight face. And then there was a month for the people. That made her feel the most guilty, even if it was filled with sex stories. Numerous sex stories. Four didn’t even have the energy to berate Decadus for sneaking off to the torture chamber. 

“I am so sorry you had to be there One.” Four apologized once they were up in the air with Gabriel. 

“Don’t be. If anything, I’m glad. Cathedral City has too much to do sometimes.”

“Well still! The mission was a failure. I should have volunteered to do it in the first place.”

“No, This was a mission only Five could do.” One stated.

“What!? What can she do that I can’t do better for a mission?” Four demanded to know.

“I needed the most human out of us to go on that mission. And believe it or not, Five is the most Human out of all of us.”

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, TY for reading!. Now to word vomit! Zabaniya from Housamo is where I got the idea for the thigh cut out, if you want a visual. (eyes emoji) It's a design that is severly underutilized, and a design Five would definately wear. For Simone's dress, good luck imagining it exactly :) Just know its sexy, kinda like a swimsuit, and thats is red, and there's like a black leotard underneath, but it has the cutout and extends to the ankles. IDK. I always find her story ironic, considering who she's named after. Like, she's out there, chasing unrealistic standards of beauty for a man. Like, lol. Onto Five, she's tied with Three for my favorite intoner. Three is the kind of character I'm just drawn to, no matter what, but I find five's character most interesting, and fun. [I'm gay, I promise it's not like that(TM) I'm not straight, you just gotta beliive me,,,] Anywhomst, of the five intoners, I think Five is the most human. She is driven by love, the love of life and the good it has to offer specifically, but love nonetheless. Two would also be a good contender, but unfortunately all that happens. (Also, if the intoners had more diverse body types, Five should be a little chubby, Two should be absolutely RIPPED, and Three would be very lanky imo.) Finally, a lot of this is vague. Just assume it's magic. And finally finally, I thank you for reading.


End file.
